Elite Daily logo

Valentine’s Day has always perplexed me. I have spent most of my life confused about why it was such a big deal to everyone. On one hand, you have some people pissed about being single on Valentine’s Day. On the other, you have the people in relationships posting pictures of their baes all over social media with sappier-than-usual captions. Frankly, I don’t get it. WHAT is the big deal? Are the chocolates and tacky decorations somehow supposed to make your love more passionate than ever? Is Valentine’s Day sex better than regular sex for some magical reason?

Well, let’s start with that second question. Is there really something about Valentine’s Day that magically manages to make sex better than ever? Not so much. A new omnibus survey of 1,000 adults in the U.S. (over 25) by Wakefield Research for K-Y Lubricant found 61 percent of people in relationships think Valentine’s Day sex doesn’t live up to the hype. But why is that?

Well, the fact that you’re going through all of this trouble to plan to have sex just because it’s Valentine’s Day might be the reason why the sex doesn’t seem that great. The study also found 80 percent of Americans were more likely to boink their partners on holidays like Valentine’s Day (over half of millennials said they’d feel a sense of FOMO if they didn’t), but an even higher 83 percent of people admitted that sex is more enjoyable when it happens spontaneously… AKA not when your iCal already declared it a day you shoulddo the deed.

So now, let’s talk about that first question I asked about whether or not the chocolates and tacky decorations somehow manage to make your love any more passionate. From personal experience, I have to say, I really don’t see any way that a few pink-and-red construction paper hearts and a box of chocolates are really going to do anything to make love stronger. But, hey, to each their own. Maybe some people’s hearts are really warmed by that stuff.

The real question is, though, why don’t we spend all year spreading the love (and the big O) to our partners? The same study also found that almost 100 percent of couples (97 percent, to be exact) said that having good sex with their partners “makes them feel more connected.” So why are we waiting to plan these things on Valentine’s Day, when we could infuse some spontaneity in our relationships and feel “more connected” year-round?

Of course, that isn’t to say you can’t still have a special Valentine’s Day. The trick is to just put less pressure on the day in general, specifically on the sex factor. Just because the day is called “Valentine’s Day” and CVS is filled with heart-shaped versions of all your favorite candies, doesn’t mean you have to be more in love and physically attracted to each other than you have ever been before. That’s a surefire way to get disappointed. You should be spreading that love, romance, and sexy time in your relationship throughout the year — not just saving it all for one day.

Just try to have a fun night with your partner and do something to let them know just how much you love them and appreciate them. If they prefer you show that love through heart-shaped chocolates and red roses, then get them heart-shaped chocolates and red roses! But there’s a good chance they just want to spend some quality time with you, eating good food and hanging out. At the end of the day, a big part of being in love is just enjoying each other’s company, and oftentimes, life gets in the way of that. This year, use not only Valentine’s Day, but all the other 364 days as nothing more than an excuse to show your partner some sweet love and spend some quality time with them.

Source: Elite Daily